Depression Can Hurt Everyone

    Okay I normally wont go into subjects that most people will shy away from or get edgy from talking about but I just feel like I need to talk about it right now.
   

     Yes, I do know what depression is. It runs in my family I am just lucky not to have it. I know depression can hurt others, sometimes really bad. All my life I have been around someone who gets depressed, my mom, and if she doesn't take her medicine to help it she can get really bad. When she gets in one of those moods she will basically shut down. She will get on the computer and basically ignore what's going on to try and get back to normal but that doesn't help (she's getting much better about that); at one point she wouldn't even drive, making it hard on the family since my dad worked and wasn't there every time we needed a ride, for fear of hurting us; and then there are those few occurrences where her depression turns to anger, normally directed at my dad or us older two, just the basic angry tick and impatient voice when something isn't done correctly. Thankfully she has figured out that every time something happens when she is on her medicine she just needs to up the does a little, or escape with Dee for a little.

     My grandma also suffers from depression but I don't live close enough to really see when she does go into that state, which I'm guessing isn't very often. I also have friends, like S, who have depression problems. Right now my boyfriend (G) is having some problems with it. I hate seeing him upset but I don't know what I can do to help him other than hug him but I can't do that since we are on break from school and I haven't seen him since the 26th.

     I actually kinda feel like I'm partially at fault for his feeling so depressed. He came to my house the 25th to give my siblings presents and wait till power came back on at his house since his family had already opened presents and since I was at my house I was my normal goofy, annoying, talkative self but when I went to his house the 26th I kinda pulled a total 180 from that because I was utterly worried of getting on his parents' bad sides. My parents both absolutely love him but I'm not so sure about his parents with me. Okay, so I know my fear shouldn't make me pull a 180 around his parents but I'm just worried they wont like me and tell him he can't see me, etc. And when I pull the 180 I pull back and kinda become distant which in turn upsets him. This time I was over I was a little better than the first time since I actually sat closer to him and stuff but the last time I was over he said no kissing so I kinda just thought the same applied this time but he said, after words, that it would have been fine to kiss him a little.
 
     Then there is of course people who have hurt him in the past that he can't completely get away from. They sure as heck don't help matters and I can't do anything about it. I try my best to be there for him but sometimes he just doesn't want to talk and if I push too much he just gets angry and more upset.

     I'll always be there to help him but sometimes it hurts me when gets angry at me. I can live with it no problem but every time I tell him it does hurt a little he says maybe he shouldn't bother me with it anymore and I hate that. What do you think I should do? Just tell him that yeah it does hurt but I want to listen to his problems and that I don't like when he says he shouldn't bother me with them any more or not say anything and just kinda suffer in silence. But no matter what I will NOT give up on him. EVER!

    Okay rant/whatever this was over, so opinions?

SEMESTER ENDS

      SEMESTER'S ALMOST DONE!!!!!!!!! I can not wait till Christmas break, or as it is now called winter break. One bad thing is that it used to be 3 weeks long and now it is barely longer than 2. I miss the 3 weeks that I was used to from 8th to 10th. Oh and my History teacher is going to assign us homework :/ I mean I know it is a college level course but my parents said that they don't have homework over breaks in college.
       Another bad thing is it's basically 2 weeks of not seeing my friends. I rarely see Em (one of my friends) but when I do she is always wearing the quirkiest outfits and looks amazing! I am unlikely to see my friends Z or Kate since I don't have Japanese next semester.

__ I should probably explain my school's schedule. We have 4 block (90 min) classes a day, a 50 min lunch and 10 min passing periods. So we have 8 different classes a year but only 4 a semester so we tend to only have people in our classes once a year __

      I am and am not looking forward to next semester's schedule. I have the same first two classes (A day English then Aiding, B day Aiding then History) then I have Physics, but that bumps my lunch back by an hour and 40 mins. This semester I have lunch at 11 but next semester I have it at 12:40. Not that I can complain too much since G has the same lunch and his first block will be aiding for the same teacher I aide for on B days. I also have to see if my math teacher would like an aide for 5th block since as of right now it is a free block but I need 2 and 1/2 credits and I only have 2 at this moment (Eng is 1/2 History is 1/2 and physics is 1. The aiding only counted for this semester).
       Gosh it just hit me that starting January 4th it is my last semester of high school.

Well that's all I can think of to post for now. Till next time!